Have you ever wondered how our beloved Prophet Muhammadﷺ treated his wives? How he talked to them? Or how he managed to maintain healthy relationships with them? Well here is your chance to find out exactly how, the example of all mankind ﷺ, treated and loved his wives.
It has been derived from many sources that he was very kind and tolerant towards his wives. They could not live let alone envisage life without him. They could not live away from him.
Each of his wives, because of his generosity and kindness, thought that she was his most beloved. The idea that any man could show equality and complete fairness in a relationship with nine women seems impossible. For this reason, the Messenger of Allah asked Allah ﷺfor forgiveness for any unintentional leanings. He would make this prayer:
I may have unintentionally shown more love to one of them than the others and this would have been injustice. So, O Allah I take refuge in your grace for those things which are beyond my power.
The messenger ﷺ regarded his wives as his other half and always consulted them when making decisions and took their advice into consideration. Men today should take lesson from this and also try to involve their women in their affairs instead of regarding them as lowly who do not have any worthy opinions to give.
Our Prophet ﷺ encouraged us through his enlightening words to behave kindly to women. He declared: The most perfect of believers is the best of them in character and the best of you is the kindest to his family.
Abu Dawood and Tirmidhi
These sayings ‘Hadiths’ demonstrate how Prophet Muhammad ﷺcared for his wives and how well he treated them. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said “Whatever you spend is considered charity even the mouthful that you put in your wife’s mouth.” Even the food that one feeds his wife with his hands is considered an act of charity that is rewarded by Allah the Almighty and not only an action that guarantees her love and cooperation.
Cuddling and being kind to one’s wife has a tremendous emotional effect on her. This action of following the example of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ costs a man nothing and grants him Allah’s reward, his wife’s love and happiness. Therefore a man should make efforts to treat his wife kindly, and be emotionally caring.
The Prophet ﷺ has indeed overcome the negative trait in the nature of men. He used to express his love and passion verbally for his wives, he treated them kindly, pampered them and listened to what they had to say. These things are extremely important in a relationship.
Ibn Assaker narrated that Hazrat Aisha R.A. said that the Prophet ﷺtold her: “Won’t you be pleased to be my wife in this life and in the Hereafter?, I said: “Yes,” he said: “You are my wife in this life and the Hereafter.” Imagine Hazrat Aisha’s emotions having heard the words that guaranteed her security, love, and peace in this life and in the Hereafter.
There is another account where Muhammad ﷺ ran a race with Hazrat Aisha R.A. where she won. Sometime later they raced again. This time Muhammad ﷺ won, he jokingly teased her that she had gone fat and therefore lost this time.
He used to read Qur’an with his wives head in his lap, eat from the same plate as them, drank from the same vessel as them and embraced them once in a while. This was the love of our beloved ﷺ, he avoided quarrels and preferred to live a peaceful life.
His gentleness must have penetrated the souls of his wives so deeply that his departure led to what they must have felt like an unceasing separation. They did not commit suicide as Islam forbids it. However, life became an endless sorrow and followed with ceaseless tears.
If spouses treated each other in such a way, a marriage would definitely be beautiful. We desperately need to learn through the life of the Prophet ﷺ and the Islamic history to discover the most beautiful theories in the art of marriage. A person can go on and on writing about how Muhammad ﷺ interacted and loved his wives however, it is upto us to take heed and act upon the example of the Prophet ﷺ.
May Allah give us the ability to maintain a healthy and loving relationship and a mutual understanding with our spouse.
Nour Islamic Advisor