Silently crying

Silently crying,
This pain is so strong..
What did I do wrong?
There’s not a day I don’t go without trying.
Taking my medication and resting is not all i do.
Some days I get up n run too.
Five years ago what I went through suffering in silence …
A marriage full of violence..
Memories of the slaps across my face are nothing but a feeling of disgrace…
How can I forget the kicks and them times he played mind tricks?
Pushed on my back,being strangled and punched to the ground.
Amazed at how I didn’t crack and how i Never made a sound…
I remember how I would silently cry and ask why?
Pleading on my knees
I would beg him it to stop please.
Sometimes he didn’t
Some days he couldn’t
But in the end I knew he wouldn’t…
I try not to cry I try not to show the pain ,
But day in day out the memories drive me insane…
Will I ever be free from the words he said to me the way he beat me?
Even-though he’s hundreds of miles away
The memories will always stay…
If I’d known that till this day I would be paying the price…I wouldn’t have never made that sacrifice…
I keep telling myself the past and it’s torture,
Has no place in my future.
To believe that is so hard when deep within I have been left scarred.
Doesn’t he know what he did to me is not all history?
Its what he did to me is making his life sad its me that’s behind his every tears.
He knows how he treated me was bad and that he fears.
Now i know he wasn’t strong.
He made me feel I was always in the wrong…
Back then I had no voice but today he has no choice…
With each passing day,
Night in night out he may try and block it out..
but the past will never go away.
This memory of ours will always stay…©

Ninjas life™


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